Enduring on the Ladder of Faith
Presiding over a funeral is difficult when you know and love the deceased. There was no more difficult time than when I buried a man who had been an elder and friend at our church. He was murdered while trying to stop a purse snatcher from taking his wife’s handbag. He didn’t die instantly but lived for months in a nursing home trying to repair broken bones that wouldn’t heal. After he passed I was left with many questions. What do you tell a congregation who has known and loved this man for over forty years? Where was God in the midst of all of this? What answers do you give when you are filled with questions?
As I wrestled with this I came upon Mark 9:24. Here a father poignantly proclaims his belief in the midst of doubt. For years, this faithful father has watched as his son lived with demonic possession. I believe he comes to Jesus as a last ditch effort, he has perhaps completely given up on God altogether – or almost. This disciples bumble while trying to help (we always do) and the father is even closer to quitting on God. Jesus shows up and is met by the full blunt force of his doubt. At this point one might expect Jesus to pastorally heal the boy and “have a talk” with the father. Instead Jesus challenges the man to greater faith. The man replies, “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.”
It was here in this verse my questions were accepted as reasonable and my faith grew. In the balance was a funeral sermon, my Bible college answers, the Bible, a hurting congregation and my doubt. It was here I realized that faith was not like Peter’s feeble attempt to walk on water. Real faith was not walking on water, just trying to keep your head above it. I saw that I didn’t have to have faith big enough to gloss over this, just a faith strong enough to wrestle with it. I didn’t have to have answers, I just had to keep asking questions. Because when I asked the questions, I was asking them of God, and God was both pleased with my search and patient with my doubt. Sometimes the hardest part about climbing the ladder of faith is not holding on not rising up.
