A Better Alarm Clock?

I might have just discovered a better alternative to the traditional alarm clock and the morning cup of coffee. This inspiration came to me as I was reading about a man who woke up when a leopard jumped on his bed! Apparently he left the window open and an old hungry leopard seeing the familiy cat on the bed decided it was time to hunt. The man got up (quickly I’ll bet) and wrestled the leopard to the ground.
I wasn’t there at 3am but I don’t think this man looked at the leopard and then his wife and asked, “Can I have five more minutes?” He also probably didn’t need a cup of coffee to start his day. So, I propose that instead of alarms or coffee we install a time delayed cage with a hungry leopard in every home in America. Think of it, no one would be late (or at least only once). We would save money by not having to spend $5 on a cup of Starbucks. We also wouldn’t have to listen to that annoying beeping every morning.
I propose we call these alarm cages “Get up and Go…Or Else” or maybe the “Get’em Tiger”! They could come in different models. The base model would come with an old leopard like this man encountered. Perhaps for children we stock them only with hungry house cats. For those who want to forgo the morning trip to the gym you could get a tiger, or a lion. And for the heavy sleeper we’ll put in a pack of ravenous cougars who have been fed nothing but gun powder.
I’m taking pre-orders for this fantastic device, let me know if you’re interested and what model you’ll need.-
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2 Responses to “A Better Alarm Clock?”

  • Tori Says:

    I’m a heavy sleeper, so I’d like to pre-order the cougars.

  • Sarah Says:

    I wake up fine. I have this really annoying internal clock that wakes me up from anywhere between an hour and 5 minutes before my set alarm clock goes off. But for my bro, that would be an interesting alternative.

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